Why Are You Trying To Run God's Show?

Are you one of those people who think you know what's right and best for the church? Is it important to you that your ideas, your thoughts be heard at all times and that, if things don't go the way you want, it's alright to push until things are your way? Perhaps if a decision is made that you don't agree with, you're the kind of individual who gets extremely upset and may even attempt to bully the pastor or board members to effect change.

If this is you, you may have already quit reading. If this isn't you, I'm certain you know at least one person in your church who thinks this way, who attempts to control things. The people who feel they control the church, that everything should go through them, these are people who mistakenly feel the church is a social club of some sort, or so it may seem. My dad was once told by members of his church board that they called him to the church so he reported to them and, apparently, should do whatever they said to do regardless of whether or not it was the right thing spiritually or from a ministry perspective. He advised them that his call to that church came from God, not them. As he stated to me, ministry is a calling, not a job. Those board members did not last, by the way, and were replaced with members who recognized what they were trying to achieve was something great for God, not for them.

Now, I believe that most of the time when we see controlling individuals, we tend to write them off as just having annoying personalities or being difficult people we don't want to deal with. I believe we carry a certain amount of frustration with them and maybe even some anger from time to time as we see them causing problems, too. Given that this is a battle in every church, big or small, it seems to me a wise solution would be to get at the root cause of the problem and find out why these people are the way they are. After all, isn't part of our job as followers of Christ to encourage and assist fellow Christians as well as the lost? I think we're responsible to both, so let's consider something that might be useful here in order to think about a solution to this issue.

I believe that if someone is being a bully or difficult it is indicative of deeper issues they have personally. This could be any number of things, ranging from problems at home to an ego they need to feed (for some reason) to other relationship issues they happen to carry over into the church. I'm speaking about anybody in this situation, mind you, not just someone with influence like a board member or church elder. Think about it for a minute. When you are unhappy with some facet of your life, doesn't that naturally flow into other areas? My brother, who is a pastor, summed it up by saying, "A church boss is someone who's heart is partially in the right place but typically has many elements of their life in the wrong place."

I think that's not only the most likely reasoning behind a negative influence in the church, but also a great way of recognizing that this person is crying out for help through acting out. Interesting, isn't it? Don't we see children in this same way? What's to say that just because someone becomes an adult they don't still react in childish methods as a means of communication? And this is not a new thing, because people have been reacting this way and causing trouble in their churches by trying to intimidate as long as the church has existed. As such we can't look at our current societal acceptance of excuses and believe this is only a current issue in the church or only a recent problem.

So when I ask the question, "Why are you trying to run God's show?", I'm definitely speaking first and foremost about the problem children of our church boards and within our church, those who seek power for themselves above all else. But now I want to flip that just a bit and point it back at us by asking you a directed question. Why are YOU trying to run God's show in your own life?

Are you somehow under the impression that the God of the universe, the one who created this amazing world we live in, doesn't understand what you need and what your needs are? If you are a Christian, God is not just your Savior, He is your Provider as well. When you try to run the show without Him, you're effectively telling God, "I can do this on my own and I know best, not You."

You can say that if you like, but you'll be wrong. You can try to do things your own way, but you will fail. You can try to bully God into letting you go the way you want to go, and He may even let you do it for awhile, but eventually He will guide you back to the path He intends for you. Don't try to run His show. He wrote it. He produced it. He knows what's in store for the next Act. Be involved as He calls, but enjoy it as a player in His show and recognize His script is better than anything you could ever hope to write.

How Not To Be A Pastor's Wife

Is that a touchy heading or what? Heads up, I'm not interested in discussing anyone's views on women pastors (which would change this to pastor's husband) here, so we'll stick with traditional thought for purposes of this post.

I think it's important that when God calls someone to be a senior pastor, it's critical that his spouse be fully on board with this life choice. This applies whether a man entered ministry straight out of college or if God called him later in life. It's vital that the wife of a pastor not be a hindrance to her husband's ministry. So let me detail just a few things a pastor's wife should not be.

• Home. If the pastor's wife doesn't come to church, or attends another church, this is not acceptable. What is her motivation for doing this? It's selfish, to be sure, because she isn't being supportive of her husband's ministry and is concerned only with herself.

• Disinterested in church tradition. A few weeks ago our pastor's wife didn't take communion. My first thought was, "Did I just see what I think I just saw?" I wasn't looking for it. I was simply following the plate as it came close to our row and happened to notice she didn't take the bread as it passed. To top it off, she walked out in between the taking of the bread and the passing of the cup down the rows. She returned during her husband's prayer for the cup (I know, because you could hear her walk back in and she was back in her seat once the prayer ended). This is beyond acceptable. Yes, your heart needs to be right before taking communion. For a regular attender, I can see this happening. The pastor's wife is held to a higher standard. Getting up in the middle of communion and being disruptive was, in a word, unbelievable.

• Be disruptive. Our pastor's wife also has this habit of getting up at least once if not twice during the service, usually within the first 5 or 10 minutes the first time. If she sat in the back row, this wouldn't be so noticeable, but she sits in the second row, then walks out right down the middle. This is, as it is with anyone else who gets up during service, incredibly disruptive. Again, she is held to a higher standard. She should recognize this and act accordingly.
  

• Smile. If you want to be a bad pastor's wife and have a negative effect on his ministry, never smile. Again, unfortunately, I have to provide an example from our own church. I have yet to see our pastor's wife smile in five weeks of attending. In fact, I'd have to say her countenance is generally disinterested and frowning. Is she this unhappy her husband is in full-time ministry? He had a corporate career previously, so I understand this isn't what she initially signed on for, but this is where God called him and she needs to be supportive. Acting like this just ticks her off is not good for his ministry.


• Dress inappropriately. Now, I'm not concerned with style or exactly what is worn, but it is important that a pastor's wife be dressed modestly. A short skirt or short shorts obviously would not be modest for her, nor would they be for anyone else attending and, in fact, would be a distraction for men in the service. Likewise some tops can be too revealing or accentuate features too much for church. Again, this is just for the purposes of the church service and you don't want men in the church to be distracted or thinking things they shouldn't just because what was worn was not quite appropriate.


• Be uninvolved. I know that over the history of the modern church pastor's wives have often been expected to spearhead children's or missions programs, head up Sunday School or play the piano. I don't think it's fair to expect the wife of the pastor to assume full-time ministry responsibilities within the church unless you are paying her to be on staff as well. I think if she has gifts and wants to use them, just like anyone else, that's great, but to expect her to serve is not right in my eyes. However, I do think if she is completely uninvolved, with no interest in helping or serving in any capacity, that reflects poorly on her husband. It's important to know that when her husband became a pastor, she took on a role in ministry as well. Sometimes it means being more involved than others, but it is a commitment.


These are just a few of the things I've noticed on what is a fairly unapproachable topic within the church. Pastors, how in the world do you teach on something like this? You can't in your own church, but if you've been called to speak at a camp or other event, you have an option to do so, but it sure is a touchy subject. This is one of those areas where Christians want it to stay unspoken, but they will talk about it amongst themselves within the church.

My wife and I have tried out this church for five weeks now. I wrote previously about the other experiences which turned us off and the pastor's wife factors in as well. While I think we can work to overcome things that bother us and contribute to solutions, we're all wired differently. For us, the pastor's wife and all the other things are major distractions that make it difficult to listen to what are pretty good messages from the pastor. And for us, the pastor's wife is probably the nail in the coffin of our desire to stay at this church, though I will have a conversation with the pastor about the other items (not his wife) that are causing us to look into other options.

Just a word of warning, pastors. If you believe your wife is not fully committed to your ministry, you need to have a frank, honest discussion with her and prayerfully consider where that may lead. Is it possible her disinterest is actually a sign that you are not cut out for this as well? Or is it possible that her disinterest is something indeed she needs to overcome, which will only come by true faith in Christ? Tough topic with tough answers, I know.

Legalism As It Pertains To...Clothing

Think about this for a second...church services in ancient days, at least within some areas of the world, were toga parties. They were parties because it was church, which is worship, which should be exciting, right? You know, even now, with some modification in what is worn underneath, a number of cultures still have similar looks. At the very least, anyone outside the Western culture most often dresses completely differently than we do.

So why, or better how, can people justify this mistaken concept that you must dress a certain way to attend church or church functions? I just don't get it. I don't know how many times I've seen this happen. In the mid-nineties, I was attending a church that, as it turned out, felt very strongly about what people wore. In advance of a cookout at the church one summer evening, the pastor announced Sunday morning that everyone should dress appropriately and that shorts were absolutely not allowed.

Summertime...temps in the upper 80s and 90s...long pants. Ummm, no. This was the first thing the pastor had said which gave me insight into how he believed, that his rules, man's rules, were more important than God's rules. Oh, you can say you want someone to dress a certain way, and you may very well have a conviction about it, but that conviction needs to stay with you or else you are putting yourself above God. How can I say this? Well, is this rule you created God-made or man-made? It's as simple as that.

OK, look, this is a common issue for everyone in the church. We've all been guilty of legalism in one form or another, putting our own convictions on others because we believe we are right. All I'm saying is that regardless of whether or not you feel you're right, if it's not specifically stated in the Bible, you've got no ground to stand on. And yes, I do realize anyone can make the statement that the Bible doesn't cover everything, so we have to interpret things the best we can to find the ways we should live. I get that, but people, issues of clothing have nothing, I repeat, nothing to do with salvation. In fact, very little of what we argue about amongst ourselves when it comes to the church has to do with salvation and living according to the rules God has provided. Very little.

I will say that most of us feel you should at least dress modestly, and the reasons for that certainly make some sense. I mean, the girl with the great body in the miniskirt and halter top doesn't help ANY of the men nearby focus on the service. It's not intentional; it's just how we're made. And that's not an excuse, either. We are seriously made this way. It's very, very hard not to notice certain things. So yeah, it'd be great if everyone recognized the need to dress at little more covered up for church, but by the same token, when do we start to look inward instead of creating some rule to take care of what we can't handle?

Isn't that what most of these man-made rules are for? When you get right down to the dirt, don't you make rules for yourself to help you focus the way you need to on God? Doesn't the way you choose to go about worship, about music, about prayer or any other aspect of your spiritual life become dictated by your own rules about how to do it best for you? When I go to church, I like to be comfortable. I wear jeans and a polo or long sleeve shirt of some type, any type, when it's cold. My level of comfort has a lot to do with how well I feel I can focus on worship and on the message.

But that's just me. My wife is comfortable wearing pants and a nice blouse or sweater, though she'll rarely wear jeans and she'd never wear shorts. I would, but she won't, and that's her conviction. My mom has always felt that, to her, it was important to wear a dress or a skirt to church. In fact, unless this has changed recently, she will wear this all day Sunday, even. It's something she feels works for her, a personal conviction that helps her truly worship her King. Me? Any time I walk in the house the shoes come off and the shorts go on, summer or winter, weekday or weekend. I don't carry that same conviction my mom does, but even as strongly as she feels about this for herself, she knows it is her personal sense of how to do things and not something everyone else is responsible to also do.

When you look at someone in church, do you judge them for how they are dressed? If you find yourself doing it, next time look inward and pray, unselfishly and openly, about your attitude. God wants you to focus on Him, not the clothing around you. And the next time you worry too much about how others are dressed, consider for a second how you'd feel if you walked into a service in a different culture. In that instance, you might be the one who looked out of place. Would you want them to accept you or deny you a chance to worship?

Legalism...stinks, doesn't it?

Are You The Only One?

Disruptions. If you pastor a church, you have a front-row seat to every disruption of the service that happens, from noises to movement. I don't know how you keep your wits or how you manage to continue your messages as though nothing is happening; I really don't. To me, sitting there in the congregation, I can't stand it. I can't focus because of it, and I certainly can't get anything out of what you're saying when my attention is being taken from me despite my best efforts.

This post is for both groups involved in these disruptions. First, it's for the pastors, because they can't really approach this subject for fear of turning away the very people they want to help. In fact, those causing the disruptions may be the ones that need it the most...it's possible anyway...and yet a pastor can't even talk to them individually about it, or at least not easily. They most certainly can't do it to the entire church.

Second, this is most definitely aimed at those of you who cause the disruptions. It'd be easy for me to play nice and say that perhaps you don't realize you're doing it, but I'm not going to do that. Why? Because far too often we make excuses for our actions when we should be taking responsibility for them and I am tired of it. Now let's dig into some examples just from my own church service this morning.

Yes, that's right, these all occurred during church today and I didn't get a thing from the message because of them. Now before you think I'm easily distracted, I am not. I never turn to watch someone walk in or out, nor am I concerned with movement around me because I come to worship; I come to learn and I intend to get that out of my time in church. However, there are times when the disruptions are so grand that I can't see past them.

How about we start with a simple one, shall we? A typical church service these days last an hour, maybe 90 minutes on the long end for most of us. Sure there are some longer, but let's go with the majority. Now, an hour is half the time of most movies, yet unbelievably many people can't seem to make an entire hour of church without getting up to go to the bathroom. How? I mean, one or two, occasionally, I could see, but this is every week. Today, we sat on a different side of the church, which apparently is the "movement" side. I lost track of how many people got up to leave during the message, but it was at least 7 or 8, maybe more, and we only have about 100 people in there to begin with. And of course not only did they get up to leave, but they came back. That's 14 or 16 disruptions just from those people on my side.

The second one today was just as obvious, which was misbehaving children. OK, I have to ask, why in the world are kids that are too young to sit still during the message sitting there when classes are being offered elsewhere for them? Are the parents just that unconcerned with the others around them that they don't care their kids are doing headers off the church pews? No kidding, two of the kids two rows in front of us fell off the pews, head first, because they were messing around. During the message this happened! Incredible.

Third, and unfortunately this involved two people I have known for over seven years from a previous church, is "the cuddling couple". Sitting directly in front of us, the husband of this couple went back and forth from sitting forward and paying attention to what I can only describe as "smothering" his wife, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close (seriously, looked like smothering), whispering, smiling and kissing her. Were we at the movies and I missed it? Better yet, was it Lover's Point? I honestly had serious concerns about where his hands were going to go next. Trust me when I say this guy is someone whose heart I know. He's a very devoted Christian husband and father, very loving and very sincere. But I had to wonder this morning how he could be so completely oblivious to his surroundings, of the propriety of what he was doing.

Last, and this one just blew me away, was the worship leader tuning his guitar at the back of the sanctuary...DURING THE MESSAGE! This is not a large building. As I said, maybe 100 of us in the service and it probably seats 200-225 at the most. He was two rows behind us, TUNING HIS GUITAR! Dude, there are doors to a common area you can go to for this! I couldn't believe it was happening. I advised my wife later that had this been our first Sunday at this church rather than our third, we would most definitely not be returning based on this example. I've never had a service so disrupted that I can recall. I'm 41 and have been in church all my life save about 4 1/2 years of rebellion in my early 20s. That's a lot of Sundays, people.

My question then is to all of you who participate in these disruptive practices in church: ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE?

I mean exactly that. Do you believe you are the only one there in the service and therefore your actions are not disruptive? Are you under the impression you are in a sound bubble whereby nobody else can hear what you or your children are doing? Possibly you think you're sitting in a box so nobody can see you. Maybe that's it. So here are some simple guidelines for you disruptors moving forward:

Bathroom People - Go before the service begins. You don't get up in the middle of a good movie or show; you hold it in. You don't take off on a trip without going first. You can plan for this, so don't use it as an excuse.

Misbehaving Children - This is on you, parents. There is no excuse for either not having your children in a class when it is offered or not assuring your children are being well-behaved if you choose to keep them in the service. This isn't a park; this isn't the zoo. It's church! Do they act this way in class at school? If they do, I would bet the principal's office is a familiar place for them. Is it fair to your pastor to let them be a problem? How disrespectful is that? And don't give me a story about how they are kids and just won't behave. That's a load and you know it. It's your job as parents to discipline and raise your children, not their job to raise themselves. Do it and don't make excuses.

Snuggling Couples - I can't believe I even have to say something about this, but if you don't know you're in church, perhaps I can't help you. I get that you love each other. That's great! But keep the public displays of affection outside the church sanctuary. Again, can't believe I had to just say that out loud. You may think, "Oh, I'm just rubbing his/her neck or stroking their hair", but those behind you are thinking just how uncomfortable this is making them. And, depending on how else you choose to act, say in the case of my kissy, kissy, smiley, whispering couple this morning, it may very well be completely inappropriate for the venue. Get a clue and knock it off.

Guitar Tuner Dude - You, a minister, of all people, should know better than this. I've never, ever, ever run across something so blatantly clueless from a staff member before. I was literally shocked when I heard the guitar being tuned. My first thought was, "Is this really happening?" That was before I moved on to, "Why is he doing this in the sanctuary?!" Un-freakin'-believable. I was dumbfounded; still am.

Look, the gist of all of this is that you need to be cognizant of where you are and that should dictate how you act, and that goes not only for church but school, the movies, a play, etc. The first question to ask yourself may very well be, "Am I in public?" I say that because, well, apparently a lot of you don't recognize that you are.

Just remember, you're not the only one there.

Legalism As It Pertains To...Baptism?

I know, I know. Confused? Concerned? Readying yourself to fight me to a "believers death" if I don't say what you want to hear? Listen, just hear me out on this one, try to have an objective mind, and attack this rationally with me. But first, we have to establish the premise.

I grew up in a church denomination that believed, at the time I was born, in baptizing babies. Now, by that very statement, you could surmise that they also believed in baptizing by sprinkling, rather than immersion, people once they were older and you would be right. Why mention this? Because this is my foundation. This is what I KNEW was right and true from a very young age. And I hope you realize that when I say I "KNEW" it was right and true, that simply means I felt that way because it's what I'd always known. In fact, until I was an adult, I never thought twice about it, to be honest.

In that sense, my foundational experience is no different than anyone who grew up in a belief system that stated you could only be baptized by immersion. Anyone raised that way, whether from a young age or whether that was the method first presented to them after they accepted Christ, likely feels very strongly there is only one method of baptism.

A few questions, then, should come from this for people on either side of the proverbial fence. One, do I feel the way I do about baptism because it's something I was taught or do I feel the way I do because the Bible specifically states it? Two, is my unwillingness to consider the alternative viewpoint on this issue due to stubbornness via the foundation built in me or do I think I have "proof" my viewpoint exists Biblically?

Third, and key to me utilizing the term "legalism" in the title of this entry, is this: Regardless of how you feel, do you attempt to push your conviction on others who do not share it in an effort to garner acceptance, say in the form of church membership?

Wow! If you are in the immersion camp right now you're fighting to keep from tuning me out, but please listen, because I'm not saying any of this out of a desire to change convictions. I'm about to give you some ideas on why this does indeed fall into the category of legalism, and it's maybe even more common than the others that are more visible, namely concerns over appearance, clothing or music. Those topics will show up on here in later entries.

So let's look at this issue a bit; get a little foundation of our own to draw from without going too deep. I could give a ton of Bible verses here, but you can look it up. If you're in the immersion camp, you're drawing from several verses in the New Testament and have decided that since references appear to speak only to being immersed, that must be the only option. This would be great, if the Greek word baptizo only meant one thing. But you see, it doesn't. Oh sure, it can very much mean immersion considering it is used as such to describe things ranging from baptisms in rivers and special pools to Jesus describing His being "immersed" in suffering.

On the other hand, it can also mean a "pouring" out of, well, as we think of it, water. Although the term is also used in the original Greek texts to speak to a pouring out of the Holy Spirit. Now, I could go on all day and get into the language of it all, the meaning of words in their original language and intent, but I don't think it would benefit any of us. I say this because none of what I've said so far is good enough to convince anyone to side one way or the other.

But that's good, because that's not what I'm trying to do. What I need to get through your thick skull and mine is that whatever method we believe in, there is nothing specific in the Bible to uphold either side. Oh sure, immersion appears to receive more obvious references, but can you really do anything with regard to theology based solely on the outer skin? And really, do you firmly believe this has anything to do with salvation? With all apologies to my Catholic friends on that point, who have so many man-made rules they can't see the forest for the trees, the method by which you were or choose to be baptized has absolutely no right or wrong and nothing to do with getting into Heaven. Baptism should, technically, come after someone has put their faith in Christ, as a sign of obedience to Him.

Before I close out with my grand argument, so to speak, I have to share something extremely alarming I pulled up in preparation for writing this. And make no mistake, I'm writing this to get it off my chest that I'm sick and tired of legalism and how it has even translated into this area. But here it goes, and I'll give you a direct quote:

Christian baptism is the immersion of a believer in water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It is an act of obedience symbolizing the believer's faith in a crucified, buried, and risen Saviour, the believer's death to sin, the burial of the old life, and the resurrection to walk in newness of life in Christ Jesus. It is a testimony to his faith in the final resurrection of the dead. Being a church ordinance, it is prerequisite to the privileges of church membership and to the Lord's Supper.

I bolded that last line because it's just so unbelievable to me. As my brother, a Wesleyan pastor, stated to me, "To add anything on top of the grace of Christ is heresy." I'm going to make a very strong statement and say the last line of the quote above falls into that category. Now, would you like to know where this came from?

This quote comes directly from "The Baptist Faith and Message", page 6. You can find this on the Southern Baptist denomination website and several of its subsidiaries. What really bothers me is that I attend a Southern Baptist church...and THIS is what the denomination holds as valid and true? That somehow, even if I am a Christian, if I am saved, unless I have been baptized by immersion, I'm not good enough to take communion? Ummm, WHAT?????? Exactly where is THAT one in the Bible? It's not, which means it is, at the very least, a legalistic man-made rule.

I have to say I didn't expect to find anything so blatantly legalistic, so blatantly heretical, anywhere within the Southern Baptist statement of beliefs. Count me sufficiently shocked and, for the moment, glad most of the churches within the denomination are self-managed, connected primarily in name with the SBC so as to give an identity.

Let me be very clear in stating this is not an attack on the SBC. If I wanted to attack specific denominations or religions, I'd be writing something entirely different and probably not using this forum lest I begin receiving all kinds of hate mail. This is simply sharing with you something I found that is so incredibly man-made I can't believe it even exists.

I've been promising a statement meant to sum up why I don't believe anyone has the right to push their convictions regarding baptism on others, which would be legalism in action. And, I'll admit, it's going to be slanted against those who believe immersion is the only way to go. So here are two things for you to chew on.

From Easton's Bible Dictionary we get the following:

The gospel and its ordinances are designed for the whole world, and it cannot be supposed that a form for the administration of baptism would have been prescribed which would in any place (as in a tropical country or in polar regions) or under any circumstances be inapplicable or injurious or impossible.

And then, from, of all sources, the Catholic.com website, I offer this set of paragraphs which I think sums it up extremely well:

After Peter’s first sermon, three thousand people were baptized in Jerusalem (Acts 2:41). Archaeologists have demonstrated there was no sufficient water supply for so many to have been immersed. Even if there had been, the natives of Jerusalem would scarcely have let their city’s water supply be polluted by three thousand unwashed bodies plunging into it. These people must have been baptized by pouring or sprinkling.

Even today practical difficulties can render immersion nearly or entirely impossible for some individuals: for example, people with certain medical conditions—the bedridden; quadriplegics; individuals with tracheotomies (an opening into the airway in the throat) or in negative pressure ventilators (iron lungs). Again, those who have recently undergone certain procedures (such as open-heart surgery) cannot be immersed, and may not wish to defer baptism until their recovery (for example, if they are to undergo further procedures).

Other difficulties arise in certain environments. For example, immersion may be nearly or entirely impossible for desert nomads or Eskimos. Or consider those in prison—not in America, where religious freedom gives prisoners the right to be immersed if they desire—but in a more hostile setting, such as a Muslim regime, where baptisms must be done in secret, without adequate water for immersion.

What are we to do in these and similar cases? Shall we deny people the sacrament because immersion is impractical or impossible for them? Ironically, the Fundamentalist, who acknowledges that baptism is commanded but thinks it isn’t essential for salvation, may make it impossible for many people to be baptized at all in obedience to God’s command.

I especially like a few things in that last quote. Primarily, my thinking has always aligned with the thought that, in ancient times, there is NO WAY anyone living in the Arctic or several desert climates would have had an option to be baptized by immersion. Where was the water for them to do this if they lived where it was always frozen, or where was the water if their climate was so much a desert that it was simply impossible?

Are you telling me people from these areas made yearly treks, kind of like their own visit to Mecca, just to be baptized in a pool or river? I have to think if this was happening, we'd have heard about it by now. Even the last bit of that quote, speaking of those who believe immersion is the only option (referred to as Fundamentalists), has a very valid point on the matter.

With all that information presented, the only question is, do we hold to our belief in the proper method of baptism because God made the rule or because man made the rule? I would submit to you that if you defer to either method and refuse to accept the other as possible that you believe in man more than God. You believe that man was able to decipher something God never specifically stated in the Bible. You believe the Greek can only be translated one way, when in fact is means multiple things (as many, many Greek words do and hey, that's just like our own English language; go figure).

Last, I would submit to you that in order to align yourself properly on this issue, and to not be legalistic about it, you must consider how your belief in the method of baptism fits in places where immersion is not possible. That alone is the key issue as far as I'm concerned and the only reason this has been written.

Show Me The Words!

If you attend a church that uses projectors to display song lyrics and most everything else, let me ask you something...do you have every song you sing on Sunday memorized?

I didn't think so. I know I don't and I can't be the only one. Even songs I have been singing for years can be easily forgotten within this mind as it grows older. I'm fairly sure I'm not the only one who has this issue, so I have a plea to worship pastors and church media directors everywhere.

Please, please, spend time with those who serve stressing how important what they do is to the worship time, both music and preaching.

How about a word picture? You're in church, somewhere in the middle of music worship. Worship pastors work hard to put together a set of songs, in a set order, intended to help draw you in to a place of worship, a place of intimacy with God. You're in a good place, mind ready to worship; the music has its hold on you; you're feeling that closeness, that moment where you let down your guard and the walls seem easy to scale...AND THEN IT HAPPENS.

The person responsible for displaying the lyrics doesn't pay attention and now you're on to the next verse but you have no idea what to sing. Or they don't follow the worship leader when he/she switches things up a little. Perhaps they hit a blank slide and you are now LOST.

OK...where did your moment go? Are you still in that sweet spot of worship or are you now distracted, even if just a little bit? Unless you have that song memorized and had your eyes closed, you're now distracted. It's human nature. Whether you intended it or not, the moment is gone because something, in this case visual, stole it from you.

Worship teams have such an important role to play, but is the focus, especially of those running sound or video, on HOW it serves others? I think most who serve have their hearts in the right place, but too often it's accepted that the quality of their work can be subpar. Why is this allowed? Are we afraid to confront because we're just so happy people are serving? Let me turn this around a bit. If you were serving, wouldn't you want to do your best?

I'm tired of losing the moment because someone isn't paying attention. I'm tired of not getting there because something controllable distracts me because I have eyes that work. For the sake of worship, and with full recognition that your role is important and should receive nothing but your best, I implore you to understand how something so small is really something so great.

What NOT To Do As A Church...OR...How I Learned To Love The Bomb

The Dr. Strangelove reference there is just to get your attention, as the subject otherwise may be one of curiosity, but not necessarily get you interested right away. As most of my life is lived out as one "Friends" line after another, I have a need to share movie/TV references in communications often. But why am I really writing this note? In a fun way, I wanted to share something we learned recently that can be beneficial to any of you who are or have been heavily involved in ministry. In fact, it’s probably equally important for those of us who are contented attendees each week as well.

My wife and I are in the process of trying to find a new church home at the moment. We want something that fits us best, that offers good care for our 22-month-old son, and has a solid doctrine we can get behind. On some level, there is also an interest in finding a place to fit in, at least for me, in some type of ministry capability, perhaps sound or music, maybe eventually leading a Bible study.

A few weeks ago, we tried out a church that's very close to our house, called Waypoint. This is really where all of this comes from, because I've never seen one church fail so greatly in so many ways that was yet seemingly so healthy from a numbers standpoint. There had to be 300-400 people there, at least, and I'm just not sure how. Now, you would think with a name like Waypoint that their intent was to create a metaphor for where we should be on our journey with Christ, or perhaps those "waypoints" along the way that are indicators for how we're doing, or where to strive for, etc. A search of their church website provided us with no direction heading into the service. It was very vague, very nondescript, if you will, in terms of letting you know affiliations or anything beyond a simple statement of beliefs. There wasn't even a way to contact the pastor. In fact, it didn't even tell you his name. So that's where we'll begin.

DO: In providing a connection point on the web, be sure to list WHO is on staff, HOW to contact them and WHAT they are about. Give some biographical information, something to let the reader know where this person came from, what's important to them from a vision standpoint of the church, etc. In general, share the things any inquiring newbie would want to know.

DON'T: Don't create a web space with no information whatsoever about the pastor, the leadership, contact information or anything along those lines. You wouldn't create a business site this way, so why create one like this for a church? You're a church, right? Isn't a big part of your role to invite people in to a relationship with Christ and, by nature, a relationship with you as a people? Isn't it supposed to be a place where people can meet you, ask questions, etc.? Sure, in person is the primary contact method, but this is 2009. We're closing out a decade where the web is everything and is utilized for research more than ever. That falls over to churches, too.

DO: When people walk into your church facility, whether it is a permanent structure or temporary, like a theater or storefront, they like to be greeted, especially if they are new. Is your church so big you don't know everyone that comes in the door? Greet them anyway, right? People come to a church to feel welcomed, to be invited in to learn and understand more about God. We are their first impressions of what that relationship is like and we need to be there for them. I've never been in a church that didn't have someone available to greet you when you arrived...

DON'T: That is, until Waypoint. We arrived 10 minutes before service was set to begin. Two guitar players were practicing on a stage. There were 30 or 40 other cars in the parking lot, so there were plenty of people inside the facility (this is held at a Conference Center, not a church building) yet nobody was there to greet us as we arrived. In fact, though we saw a number of people, not one came up and introduced themselves or asked us if we were visiting or anything. We had to stop one of them after a few minutes to ask for assistance in finding the Nursery for our son, which brings me to the next...

DO: Make it obvious to people where everything is. I think most churches I've been in do a good job with this with signage or, if they don't have signage, using greeters to answer questions and direct visitors to where they want to go. At Waypoint, it was more like...

DON'T: Not only have no greeters or helpers of any kind, but also no signage. Oh, there was a sign we noticed off to the right indicating some classes for older kids, but nothing indicating a Nursery. Again, this wasn't a tiny church; it had several hundred people. When we asked the person we ran down where the nursery was, we found the next item on my list...

DO: Make sure to have childcare for infants and toddlers available from the very beginning of your services, even a bit before. If service starts at 10, it should be open at least 10 or 15 minutes ahead of time so parents can drop their kids off and get to the service on time. You know what a service with lots of infants and toddlers is like otherwise? Pick an adjective: noisy, disruptive, chaotic...I could go on. So what's the opposite of this plan?

DON'T: Do it like Waypoint did. When we inquired about the nursery, we were told he'd show us where it was, but that none of the children went to their classes or the nursery until after the music portion of the worship service was completed. Ummmm, what????? So you're saying I'm to somehow keep my 22-month-old son content until the music time is done? How? With magic? With smoke and mirrors? Anyone who has ever had a child, or even SEEN a child knows this is impossible. Infants, sure. They don't move much, don't care about much. But once your kids begin to walk and are active, SITTING is of the devil to them. They hate it. And so did my son. In fact, after a few songs, I gave up and took him out of the building, yes, out of the building, so the discontent he was showing wouldn't be a problem to others. Now, while we're on the subject of times, etc., let's discuss start times.

DO: Start your service as close to on-time as possible. I've run across the occasional old-time church that starts a Sunday evening service on “farmer's time”, so to speak, maybe as many as 10 or 15 minutes late. That's fine. It's an evening service, meant to be more casual, etc. But Sunday morning really, really, really needs to start as close to on-time as possible. This isn't just because people want to stick to a schedule. It's because many of us have kids who are young enough to where dealing with anything over an hour and 15 minutes is like pulling teeth anyway, especially if we're butting up against their lunchtime.

DON'T: Start it 20 minutes late because, well, you know, we're all just enjoying fellowship and it's fun to talk and we have to catch up and yada yada yada. Ummm, that's what the time BEFORE service is for and that's what the time AFTER service is for. At Waypoint, we began the music worship 20 minutes late. This is 20 minutes EXTRA we now had to try to keep our son content and comfortable, keeping him in our area, not letting him run around and be a distraction, etc., on top of him already not getting to go to the nursery right away. This naturally leads us to length of service...

DO: Try to stick to a fairly set time of worship each week. If you want to use the excuse that it's all "led by the Spirit", OK. There are charismatic churches out there for you where a few hours in service is considered normal. But for the rest of us, and especially for those with children, we really need to know because we have to plan everything. Those toddler mouths get hungry at fairly regular times and if you don't meet it, they don't understand what hunger is and so their very fun reaction is to fuss and cry. Woohoo!

DON'T: Not only begin your service 20 minutes late, but then decide within starting the teaching time to just meander along for another 20 minutes before even coming close to beginning to speak. Yes, we had a wonderful time of "touchy, feely, sharing" time at Waypoint and we learned something entirely new in the process of this as well, which comes next...

DO: Recognize that God is amazingly capable of multi-tasking. Heck, He even knows when you are sleeping and when you are awake (to borrow from Santa). He created the universe and has a pretty good handle on all of His people. So when you want to pray, two things you can do well to show Him you understand Him. One, it's OK to pray about multiple things in the same prayer because he's a pretty smart guy. And two, He knows who or what you're praying about, so just say it. It'll be good. On the other hand...

DON'T: At Waypoint, apparently the rest of us have no clue how God works. From what I could gather, you must pray about only one thing at a time, lest you confuse the God of the universe and cause Him to forget everything you wanted to pray about. In addition, apparently it's necessary to reach out with your hands in the direction of the person or persons you are praying for so that God can see exactly who it is you're referencing. I mean, seriously, how else is He to know who those people are? I suspect this also means that when praying for yourself, you should, theoretically, point to yourself or maybe lay hands on your chest so God will know it's you who you are praying about.

DO: Last one here for everyone. Thinking about doing something "different" in the service, perhaps breaking out into small groups, or doing something requiring personal interaction? Your "DO" here is to NOT do that. Let the service focus on what it should be doing, teaching, helping people grow and lifting up God.

DON'T: Don't do this. As Pastor "Happy Go Lucky" at Waypoint started his "sermon", he let us all know he was going to do something different that day. He was going to speak for 15 minutes and then we were all going to break out into small groups to study the passage he was speaking on. It was at this point I turned to my wife and advised her we were leaving when the break occurred. Let me ask you something? If you were new to a church, or even had visited just a few times but knew very few people, if any, would you be comfortable? What if, during meet and greet time in the middle of the service, nobody had come to speak to you? How would you feel upon hearing you were being forced to get into small groups to do a short Bible study in the middle of the service? I thought so. Don't do this, people. Use your small groups for what they are there for. Use your other opportunities for what they are there for. Don't try to create small group interaction in the middle of your church service, or at least not unless you intend to drive people away rather than welcome them in. Remember, your time for preaching is not your time for fellowship. It's your time for teaching. Rationalize it how you may, but putting people on the spot, like Waypoint did with us, is a surefire way to turn people away.

I'll end my separated points there, but wanted to encourage each of you to recognize a few things when it comes to new people visiting your churches. As newbies, we aren't looking for immediate acceptance and understanding, necessarily, but we are looking for smiling faces, people who are inviting and want to assure our questions are answered and needs are met. Assure that your greeters, or just the people in your church, recognize how important it is, regardless of size, to say hello to everyone and make them feel welcome.

During the 10-minute downtime in between the music worship and the preaching time at Waypoint, I took my son to the nursery and got him checked in. Nobody, and I do mean nobody, stopped by my wife to say hello and introduce themselves before or after I returned to my seat. The lesson here is for your people not to assume someone else will do it. Always take the initiative, always be welcoming, always meet and greet, so to speak. We attended a large church down in Texas, yet we always felt accepted, always felt cared for, always felt invited. You've never seen a church with so many greeters at so many places along the path into the sanctuary, and even inside. They went out of their way to assure everyone felt welcome and it worked. A church of about 1700-2000 never felt lonely and it never felt too big.

My wife and I have gone to 5 churches since we returned to our hometown. The first was one I attended for 4 years until we decided to find something a bit smaller. But it hadn't changed a bit, the music hadn't grown, and it still didn't match up with the welcome we wanted. The second was the one we'd attended before moving down to Texas last year. It felt fine for a short time, but soon began feeling empty and lacking in key support areas a church needs. A flock needs a true shepherd, pastors and laypersons, and we all know this.

Our first church to visit after we left our most recent church, we received no greeting, but the check-in desk appeared obvious so we headed over there where we were indeed warmly greeted and ushered to the nursery for our son. However, once inside the service, the worship itself was lifeless, the music mix among the worst I've ever heard (you have to be consistent, people, or you distract from the worship), and the preaching just plain sad. Also, not a terribly friendly place overall. The second church we visited was Waypoint, of which I spoke above. Waypoint is more the antithesis of their name. I'd say a more accurate description for them would be "Looking For Our Way", because it was very disorganized, had no real structure to it, was very touchy, feely in sense and, we're fairly sure we saw a number of gay people there. Ummm, yeah, THAT one is real specific in the Bible, folks. Don't kid yourselves in this era of social acceptance.

That experience was so disappointing that we didn't go anywhere the next Sunday because we felt so frustrated. The next week, our intent was to visit a church a bit further out from our house. As we drove up on it, I realized it was in a very small storefront. It used to meet in a theater. So in 7 or 8 years of existence, it's actually shrunk from a theater to a small storefront. That's not what we’re looking for, so we decided not to attend there. We would've had to go home with no service yet again, but my wife suggested a church her dad used to pastor that happened to be on our way home. We're glad we did, as we felt welcomed right away and it was an encouraging day. It's not perfect, and doesn't meet a perfect needs list, but very few churches can. We'll give it a shot next week as well.

And why? Because they invited us in; they treated us as Christ would treat us; they wanted us there, to be a part of a body of believers who have a desire to grow and learn together in Christ.

I hope you can all see this for what I want it to be. These are just some words of wisdom from a weary, oft-traveled guy trying to make sense of what does and doesn't work in ministry, gang. Take it for what it's worth, suggestions of what to do and what not to do if you want to reach those who know nothing about your church. Too often I feel we become content and, unintentionally, we push people away because we don't want to put forth the effort to accept new people, to accept those we don't know and would have to reach out to, but that's our calling. I'd hate for us to miss it.

God Bless, all.