Ever been to the top of the mountain in your Christian walk? For your sake I hope you have. If you've been there, you know how close to God you feel when you're at the mountaintop and have reached what feels like the pinnacle of communication with Him. It's a place where you have such a sense of communion with our God, with our Savior, that joy literally spills out of you and you find yourself unable to quit smiling.
But what happens when you come down? Maybe a better question would be, why do we all fall off the mountaintop? I don't think we have to for the most part; rather, I think we choose to by our actions once we're there. That's right; I said we choose to fall off. It doesn't just happen.
It seems to me it'd be easy to rationalize losing mountaintop-type communication with God the same way we rationalize anything else we fail at in our lives. Yes, fail. That's not meant to be accusatory or overly dramatic. When we don't succeed at something, we fail. Is that bothersome? Oh, I see. Perhaps you don't want to think of it as "failing", but would rather say something to yourself that is less inflammatory. Maybe you'd like to explain it away as, "That's not something we can feel all the time; it only occurred because the situation was just right." Or something along the lines of, "You can't expect me to feel that close to God all the time. I can't recreate that weekend at camp or that concert which drew me in with such worshipful music."
Sure, OK, keep telling that to yourself. In fact, as long as you're at it, don't forget to apologize to God for lying about your commitment to Him just so you can feel better on the inside. Now make no mistake about it, I am just as guilty as any of us when it comes to falling off the mountaintop. And if it were scientifically possible to do so, I'd guess each of us truly lives that amazing experience maybe .001% of the total time our lives encompass. I could be off by fraction here or there, but seriously, how many of us actually maintain that level of communion with God all the time?
Why don't we do it? Notice I didn't ask why we "can't" do it; I asked why we "don't" do it. I'm calling all of us out here. What is wrong with us that we don't strive for that mountaintop experience all the time? Why would we NOT want to feel that way 100% of the time, 100% of our lives? Is it possible to live it 100% of the time? If I'm honest with myself, it's probably not. Honestly, it'd be a little distracting to others if you sat with a goofy smile on your face in every activity of every day, too. In fact, that reaction may get you a ride to the funny farm for a little testing. But I'm not trying to be unrealistic here, even though it probably seems like it.
What I'm really trying to do is challenge each of us to make a firmer commitment to God, to make a solid commitment to being in communion with Him 100% of the time. We may not get to that mountaintop experience 100% and it may not even be technically possible, but what I'm suggesting is that if we are willing to commit more of our lives to study, pray and fellowship with others more, we'll get closer to that number.
Do you spend time in a daily devotion, just you and God? If you're married, do you spend time in a daily devotion for the two of you? If the answer to either or both of these is "no", why not? Don't say you don't have enough time, because even five minutes a day can have a profound impact on your life. And if you are married and are not having a devotional time together, I'd encourage you to do so. This is the person closer to you than anyone else, and what better way to grow together than by investing spiritually in each other?
Challenge yourself to reach the top of the mountain and stay there as long as you can. Challenge yourself by committing spiritually in a way you've never done before. Today, take a moment and ask God to show you one way you can be closer to Him. If you're unsure of what to do, pick something you know will help. Honestly, that's what He's going to provide for you anyway, that idea of how to be closer to Him. You could start by subscribing to a daily devotional in your e-mail, or perhaps reading the Bible in a year via e-mail, or opening up your Bible and focusing fully on just one verse a day. There are so many small, simple steps we can take to draw us closer to God. And though He is so much bigger and so much more complex than we can ever hope to be, He also has really big arms waiting to give you a big hug. Let Him do it. Invite yourself into His world and spend some time with Him. Start working your way up the mountain.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Why Are You Trying To Run God's Show?
Are you one of those people who think you know what's right and best for the church? Is it important to you that your ideas, your thoughts be heard at all times and that, if things don't go the way you want, it's alright to push until things are your way? Perhaps if a decision is made that you don't agree with, you're the kind of individual who gets extremely upset and may even attempt to bully the pastor or board members to effect change.
If this is you, you may have already quit reading. If this isn't you, I'm certain you know at least one person in your church who thinks this way, who attempts to control things. The people who feel they control the church, that everything should go through them, these are people who mistakenly feel the church is a social club of some sort, or so it may seem. My dad was once told by members of his church board that they called him to the church so he reported to them and, apparently, should do whatever they said to do regardless of whether or not it was the right thing spiritually or from a ministry perspective. He advised them that his call to that church came from God, not them. As he stated to me, ministry is a calling, not a job. Those board members did not last, by the way, and were replaced with members who recognized what they were trying to achieve was something great for God, not for them.
Now, I believe that most of the time when we see controlling individuals, we tend to write them off as just having annoying personalities or being difficult people we don't want to deal with. I believe we carry a certain amount of frustration with them and maybe even some anger from time to time as we see them causing problems, too. Given that this is a battle in every church, big or small, it seems to me a wise solution would be to get at the root cause of the problem and find out why these people are the way they are. After all, isn't part of our job as followers of Christ to encourage and assist fellow Christians as well as the lost? I think we're responsible to both, so let's consider something that might be useful here in order to think about a solution to this issue.
I believe that if someone is being a bully or difficult it is indicative of deeper issues they have personally. This could be any number of things, ranging from problems at home to an ego they need to feed (for some reason) to other relationship issues they happen to carry over into the church. I'm speaking about anybody in this situation, mind you, not just someone with influence like a board member or church elder. Think about it for a minute. When you are unhappy with some facet of your life, doesn't that naturally flow into other areas? My brother, who is a pastor, summed it up by saying, "A church boss is someone who's heart is partially in the right place but typically has many elements of their life in the wrong place."
I think that's not only the most likely reasoning behind a negative influence in the church, but also a great way of recognizing that this person is crying out for help through acting out. Interesting, isn't it? Don't we see children in this same way? What's to say that just because someone becomes an adult they don't still react in childish methods as a means of communication? And this is not a new thing, because people have been reacting this way and causing trouble in their churches by trying to intimidate as long as the church has existed. As such we can't look at our current societal acceptance of excuses and believe this is only a current issue in the church or only a recent problem.
So when I ask the question, "Why are you trying to run God's show?", I'm definitely speaking first and foremost about the problem children of our church boards and within our church, those who seek power for themselves above all else. But now I want to flip that just a bit and point it back at us by asking you a directed question. Why are YOU trying to run God's show in your own life?
Are you somehow under the impression that the God of the universe, the one who created this amazing world we live in, doesn't understand what you need and what your needs are? If you are a Christian, God is not just your Savior, He is your Provider as well. When you try to run the show without Him, you're effectively telling God, "I can do this on my own and I know best, not You."
You can say that if you like, but you'll be wrong. You can try to do things your own way, but you will fail. You can try to bully God into letting you go the way you want to go, and He may even let you do it for awhile, but eventually He will guide you back to the path He intends for you. Don't try to run His show. He wrote it. He produced it. He knows what's in store for the next Act. Be involved as He calls, but enjoy it as a player in His show and recognize His script is better than anything you could ever hope to write.
If this is you, you may have already quit reading. If this isn't you, I'm certain you know at least one person in your church who thinks this way, who attempts to control things. The people who feel they control the church, that everything should go through them, these are people who mistakenly feel the church is a social club of some sort, or so it may seem. My dad was once told by members of his church board that they called him to the church so he reported to them and, apparently, should do whatever they said to do regardless of whether or not it was the right thing spiritually or from a ministry perspective. He advised them that his call to that church came from God, not them. As he stated to me, ministry is a calling, not a job. Those board members did not last, by the way, and were replaced with members who recognized what they were trying to achieve was something great for God, not for them.
Now, I believe that most of the time when we see controlling individuals, we tend to write them off as just having annoying personalities or being difficult people we don't want to deal with. I believe we carry a certain amount of frustration with them and maybe even some anger from time to time as we see them causing problems, too. Given that this is a battle in every church, big or small, it seems to me a wise solution would be to get at the root cause of the problem and find out why these people are the way they are. After all, isn't part of our job as followers of Christ to encourage and assist fellow Christians as well as the lost? I think we're responsible to both, so let's consider something that might be useful here in order to think about a solution to this issue.
I believe that if someone is being a bully or difficult it is indicative of deeper issues they have personally. This could be any number of things, ranging from problems at home to an ego they need to feed (for some reason) to other relationship issues they happen to carry over into the church. I'm speaking about anybody in this situation, mind you, not just someone with influence like a board member or church elder. Think about it for a minute. When you are unhappy with some facet of your life, doesn't that naturally flow into other areas? My brother, who is a pastor, summed it up by saying, "A church boss is someone who's heart is partially in the right place but typically has many elements of their life in the wrong place."
I think that's not only the most likely reasoning behind a negative influence in the church, but also a great way of recognizing that this person is crying out for help through acting out. Interesting, isn't it? Don't we see children in this same way? What's to say that just because someone becomes an adult they don't still react in childish methods as a means of communication? And this is not a new thing, because people have been reacting this way and causing trouble in their churches by trying to intimidate as long as the church has existed. As such we can't look at our current societal acceptance of excuses and believe this is only a current issue in the church or only a recent problem.
So when I ask the question, "Why are you trying to run God's show?", I'm definitely speaking first and foremost about the problem children of our church boards and within our church, those who seek power for themselves above all else. But now I want to flip that just a bit and point it back at us by asking you a directed question. Why are YOU trying to run God's show in your own life?
Are you somehow under the impression that the God of the universe, the one who created this amazing world we live in, doesn't understand what you need and what your needs are? If you are a Christian, God is not just your Savior, He is your Provider as well. When you try to run the show without Him, you're effectively telling God, "I can do this on my own and I know best, not You."
You can say that if you like, but you'll be wrong. You can try to do things your own way, but you will fail. You can try to bully God into letting you go the way you want to go, and He may even let you do it for awhile, but eventually He will guide you back to the path He intends for you. Don't try to run His show. He wrote it. He produced it. He knows what's in store for the next Act. Be involved as He calls, but enjoy it as a player in His show and recognize His script is better than anything you could ever hope to write.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Legalism As It pertains To...Legalism?
I had an epiphany the other night as I was contemplating my next post, realizing that it is possible to be legalistic when railing against legalism and that perhaps this would be a worthy topic to address. One thing I want to be sure of is that I never come across as having all the answers. I don't want to be seen as being arrogant and so sure of my own ideas that I attempt to enforce them upon others to the point of putting them down for their own opinions.
That's the gist of it; legalism at its core is a firm belief that your way is the only way and anyone not in line is wrong. There is no problem with having your own sense of how things should be done and even attaching a strong emotion to it. In fact, I would say that type of passion is crucial to helping you recognize how strongly you feel about your faith. The passion is great! Hold on tightly to the passion! Just don't be confused into believing that because you are passionate about it, you have all the answers and anyone who disagrees is lost.
By the same token, if we are to speak out against legalism in all its many forms (and we've only scratched the surface in this blog so far), we have to be willing to examine ourselves first. For example, I feel pretty strongly about there not being too many restrictions on dress code or appearance in church. I feel pretty strongly about music or worship styles, how leadership should act, how a pastor's wife should be, yada yada yada. But, and this is critically important, I don't ever want to come across as trying to sound like I have all the answers.
Ultimately it comes down to this for me: I feel strongly about many things with regard to my faith, church, the worship experience, you name it. But I also recognize, and have to recognize, that others can feel just as strongly about those same things in completely different ways. And none of that is wrong. What is wrong is when any one of us decides we have to try to force others to adhere to OUR sense of how something should be when that cannot be directly backed up through Biblical evidence and specific interpretation.
Confused about how something was interpreted? If you are, and if scholars have come up with multiple ideas on something, what should that tell you? It tells you that, most likely, on that issue the Bible wasn't black and white and people are doing their best to understand what it means and that is OK. It also means that this is not an issue critical to your salvation. There are no confusing statements in the Bible with regard to your salvation, to becoming as close to Christ as possible.
This is where legalism most often rears its ugly head, when people decide that issues not critical to salvation are just as important and require their "insight" to be clear to others. Like the person who believes you should wear certain clothing to come to Christ in worship, or the person who believes only hymns should be sung in church (never mind the fact many of the most popular hymns began as bar tunes), their insight is nothing more than a feeling that is important to them.
So, where things are important for you to be able to worship properly, do them. If you feel best coming before Christ in formal attire, do so. If it matters not how you are dressed, with respect to modesty of course, do so. If you cannot feel a closeness in music worship unless the songs are hymns, attend a church where that traditional approach is prevalent. If that doesn't work for you, attend a more modern worship service so you can be fed. Regardless of how you feel about these types of things, you should be assured God created something for everybody to come to Him.
Now don't go pushing your opinion off on the others who don't agree with you and I think you'll find your life is a little happier for it, a little more focused on God and less on you.
That's the gist of it; legalism at its core is a firm belief that your way is the only way and anyone not in line is wrong. There is no problem with having your own sense of how things should be done and even attaching a strong emotion to it. In fact, I would say that type of passion is crucial to helping you recognize how strongly you feel about your faith. The passion is great! Hold on tightly to the passion! Just don't be confused into believing that because you are passionate about it, you have all the answers and anyone who disagrees is lost.
By the same token, if we are to speak out against legalism in all its many forms (and we've only scratched the surface in this blog so far), we have to be willing to examine ourselves first. For example, I feel pretty strongly about there not being too many restrictions on dress code or appearance in church. I feel pretty strongly about music or worship styles, how leadership should act, how a pastor's wife should be, yada yada yada. But, and this is critically important, I don't ever want to come across as trying to sound like I have all the answers.
Ultimately it comes down to this for me: I feel strongly about many things with regard to my faith, church, the worship experience, you name it. But I also recognize, and have to recognize, that others can feel just as strongly about those same things in completely different ways. And none of that is wrong. What is wrong is when any one of us decides we have to try to force others to adhere to OUR sense of how something should be when that cannot be directly backed up through Biblical evidence and specific interpretation.
Confused about how something was interpreted? If you are, and if scholars have come up with multiple ideas on something, what should that tell you? It tells you that, most likely, on that issue the Bible wasn't black and white and people are doing their best to understand what it means and that is OK. It also means that this is not an issue critical to your salvation. There are no confusing statements in the Bible with regard to your salvation, to becoming as close to Christ as possible.
This is where legalism most often rears its ugly head, when people decide that issues not critical to salvation are just as important and require their "insight" to be clear to others. Like the person who believes you should wear certain clothing to come to Christ in worship, or the person who believes only hymns should be sung in church (never mind the fact many of the most popular hymns began as bar tunes), their insight is nothing more than a feeling that is important to them.
So, where things are important for you to be able to worship properly, do them. If you feel best coming before Christ in formal attire, do so. If it matters not how you are dressed, with respect to modesty of course, do so. If you cannot feel a closeness in music worship unless the songs are hymns, attend a church where that traditional approach is prevalent. If that doesn't work for you, attend a more modern worship service so you can be fed. Regardless of how you feel about these types of things, you should be assured God created something for everybody to come to Him.
Now don't go pushing your opinion off on the others who don't agree with you and I think you'll find your life is a little happier for it, a little more focused on God and less on you.
Monday, January 11, 2010
How Not To Be A Pastor's Wife
Is that a touchy heading or what? Heads up, I'm not interested in discussing anyone's views on women pastors (which would change this to pastor's husband) here, so we'll stick with traditional thought for purposes of this post.
I think it's important that when God calls someone to be a senior pastor, it's critical that his spouse be fully on board with this life choice. This applies whether a man entered ministry straight out of college or if God called him later in life. It's vital that the wife of a pastor not be a hindrance to her husband's ministry. So let me detail just a few things a pastor's wife should not be.
I think it's important that when God calls someone to be a senior pastor, it's critical that his spouse be fully on board with this life choice. This applies whether a man entered ministry straight out of college or if God called him later in life. It's vital that the wife of a pastor not be a hindrance to her husband's ministry. So let me detail just a few things a pastor's wife should not be.
- Home. If the pastor's wife doesn't come to church, or attends another church, this is not acceptable. What is her motivation for doing this? It's selfish, to be sure, because she isn't being supportive of her husband's ministry and is concerned only with herself.
- Disinterested in church tradition. A few weeks ago our pastor's wife didn't take communion. My first thought was, "Did I just see what I think I just saw?" I wasn't looking for it. I was simply following the plate as it came close to our row and happened to notice she didn't take the bread as it passed. To top it off, she walked out in between the taking of the bread and the passing of the cup down the rows. She returned during her husband's prayer for the cup (I know, because you could hear her walk back in and she was back in her seat once the prayer ended). This is beyond acceptable. Yes, your heart needs to be right before taking communion. For a regular attender, I can see this happening. The pastor's wife is held to a higher standard. Getting up in the middle of communion and being disruptive was, in a word, unbelievable.
- Be disruptive. Our pastor's wife also has this habit of getting up at least once if not twice during the service, usually within the first 5 or 10 minutes the first time. If she sat in the back row, this wouldn't be so noticeable, but she sits in the second row, then walks out right down the middle. This is, as it is with anyone else who gets up during service, incredibly disruptive. Again, she is held to a higher standard. She should recognize this and act accordingly.
- Smile. If you want to be a bad pastor's wife and have a negative effect on his ministry, never smile. Again, unfortunately, I have to provide an example from our own church. I have yet to see our pastor's wife smile in five weeks of attending. In fact, I'd have to say her countenance is generally disinterested and frowning. Is she this unhappy her husband is in full-time ministry? He had a corporate career previously, so I understand this isn't what she initially signed on for, but this is where God called him and she needs to be supportive. Acting like this just ticks her off is not good for his ministry.
- Dress inappropriately. Now, I'm not concerned with style or exactly what is worn, but it is important that a pastor's wife be dressed modestly. A short skirt or short shorts obviously would not be modest for her, nor would they be for anyone else attending and, in fact, would be a distraction for men in the service. Likewise some tops can be too revealing or accentuate features too much for church. Again, this is just for the purposes of the church service and you don't want men in the church to be distracted or thinking things they shouldn't just because what was worn was not quite appropriate.
- Be uninvolved. I know that over the history of the modern church pastor's wives have often been expected to spearhead children's or missions programs, head up Sunday School or play the piano. I don't think it's fair to expect the wife of the pastor to assume full-time ministry responsibilities within the church unless you are paying her to be on staff as well. I think if she has gifts and wants to use them, just like anyone else, that's great, but to expect her to serve is not right in my eyes. However, I do think if she is completely uninvolved, with no interest in helping or serving in any capacity, that reflects poorly on her husband. It's important to know that when her husband became a pastor, she took on a role in ministry as well. Sometimes it means being more involved than others, but it is a commitment.
These are just a few of the things I've noticed on what is a fairly unapproachable topic within the church. Pastors, how in the world do you teach on something like this? You can't in your own church, but if you've been called to speak at a camp or other event, you have an option to do so, but it sure is a touchy subject. This is one of those areas where Christians want it to stay unspoken, but they will talk about it amongst themselves within the church.
My wife and I have tried out this church for five weeks now. I wrote previously about the other experiences which turned us off and the pastor's wife factors in as well. While I think we can work to overcome things that bother us and contribute to solutions, we're all wired differently. For us, the pastor's wife and all the other things are major distractions that make it difficult to listen to what are pretty good messages from the pastor. And for us, the pastor's wife is probably the nail in the coffin of our desire to stay at this church, though I will have a conversation with the pastor about the other items (not his wife) that are causing us to look into other options.
Just a word of warning, pastors. If you believe your wife is not fully committed to your ministry, you need to have a frank, honest discussion with her and prayerfully consider where that may lead. Is it possible her disinterest is actually a sign that you are not cut out for this as well? Or is it possible that her disinterest is something indeed she needs to overcome, which will only come by true faith in Christ? Tough topic with tough answers, I know.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Serving, Not Complaining
I want to speak briefly about serving in the church and the attitude you bring to the table when you serve, regardless of capacity. But first, let's define what serving is.
For purposes of this article, serving is filling a need the church has, whether it's folding worship folders each week, taking the offering, greeting people, teaching Sunday School, taking care of the babies in the nursery or even something such as clearing the parking lot of snow and ice after a big winter storm. It's literally anything that is needed to be done to help things run smoothly, whether there is direct people impact or not.
Some of us serve according to gifts we know God has given and we feel we can do well in those areas. Some of us only want to serve if it can be in a specific area or not at all. That's alright, too. It really is, though I'd caution you to not be afraid to stretch yourself and go outside your comfort zone. However you choose to serve, if you do, do it cheerfully and without complaining.
Why is this important? Let me toss out this thought. How many people serve because they feel obligated to do it? They serve because nobody else will fill the need and someone has to do it so why not them? This is fine, and if this is you, thank you, but remember why you're doing it. Even if this is your "reason" for serving, you know deep down that it isn't. If you felt and recognized the need, and it bugged you enough to do something about it, consider that God put that thought there because He needed you. And if He put you there (and regardless, He most definitely did) then shouldn't you be thankful He cared so much to use YOU to serve Him?
Maybe you serve but only in the description of the word. Perhaps your reason for doing it is to have some sort of control in the church. I'll jump on that topic more in depth in another article, but let's say this is indeed your reason, consciously or not. If this is the case, you're doing it for yourself, which means you are actually self-serving, which actually helps nobody. If you feel this way, let it go and let someone else fill the need. Or, if you feel strongly enough about it, like perhaps nobody can do it as well as you can, that's fine, but spend some time humbly in prayer about how to make it a positive experience for everyone and an attitude-changing opportunity for yourself.
An odd thing to say, right? But how many people do you know who spend all their time moaning and complaining while doing something? Why do you think they do this? They do it to draw attention to themselves, to engage you in a conversation about them, which makes them feel important, which makes them feel, well, loved, oddly enough.
This is the lesson on the back end for the rest of us, those of us who are frustrated at an apparent bad attitude by some who serve but do so seemingly out of obligation or wrong motives. When you hear this from those people and when you see this occurring, I'd encourage you to dig deep, look beyond your own attitude and frustration, and think about why it is they are acting this way. Chances are they are looking for love and acceptance, even if they don't know they are doing it or that they need it. They may very well need an ear to hear, a shoulder to lean on.
Everyone has a call to ministry in some form or another. For most people, it doesn't involve anything full-time, so don't feel guilty if you haven't received that call. But don't ignore the call to serve, either. Serving is a key part of ministry. God will utilize your talents, or help you stretch abilities you didn't even know you had, to meet His purpose. And when you feel your attitude is getting in the way, or you allow yourself to complain, even internally, about what it is you're doing, remember God chose you to do that work for Him. Think about how personal that choice really is, about how He cares enough to select you to serve, regardless of what it may be.
Whatever the needs may be in the church, they are all important. When you fill a need, when you serve, recognize the opportunity is a worship experience, a chance to praise God for using you to meet the needs of His people. You are vitally important! Be happy about it!
For purposes of this article, serving is filling a need the church has, whether it's folding worship folders each week, taking the offering, greeting people, teaching Sunday School, taking care of the babies in the nursery or even something such as clearing the parking lot of snow and ice after a big winter storm. It's literally anything that is needed to be done to help things run smoothly, whether there is direct people impact or not.
Some of us serve according to gifts we know God has given and we feel we can do well in those areas. Some of us only want to serve if it can be in a specific area or not at all. That's alright, too. It really is, though I'd caution you to not be afraid to stretch yourself and go outside your comfort zone. However you choose to serve, if you do, do it cheerfully and without complaining.
Why is this important? Let me toss out this thought. How many people serve because they feel obligated to do it? They serve because nobody else will fill the need and someone has to do it so why not them? This is fine, and if this is you, thank you, but remember why you're doing it. Even if this is your "reason" for serving, you know deep down that it isn't. If you felt and recognized the need, and it bugged you enough to do something about it, consider that God put that thought there because He needed you. And if He put you there (and regardless, He most definitely did) then shouldn't you be thankful He cared so much to use YOU to serve Him?
Maybe you serve but only in the description of the word. Perhaps your reason for doing it is to have some sort of control in the church. I'll jump on that topic more in depth in another article, but let's say this is indeed your reason, consciously or not. If this is the case, you're doing it for yourself, which means you are actually self-serving, which actually helps nobody. If you feel this way, let it go and let someone else fill the need. Or, if you feel strongly enough about it, like perhaps nobody can do it as well as you can, that's fine, but spend some time humbly in prayer about how to make it a positive experience for everyone and an attitude-changing opportunity for yourself.
An odd thing to say, right? But how many people do you know who spend all their time moaning and complaining while doing something? Why do you think they do this? They do it to draw attention to themselves, to engage you in a conversation about them, which makes them feel important, which makes them feel, well, loved, oddly enough.
This is the lesson on the back end for the rest of us, those of us who are frustrated at an apparent bad attitude by some who serve but do so seemingly out of obligation or wrong motives. When you hear this from those people and when you see this occurring, I'd encourage you to dig deep, look beyond your own attitude and frustration, and think about why it is they are acting this way. Chances are they are looking for love and acceptance, even if they don't know they are doing it or that they need it. They may very well need an ear to hear, a shoulder to lean on.
Everyone has a call to ministry in some form or another. For most people, it doesn't involve anything full-time, so don't feel guilty if you haven't received that call. But don't ignore the call to serve, either. Serving is a key part of ministry. God will utilize your talents, or help you stretch abilities you didn't even know you had, to meet His purpose. And when you feel your attitude is getting in the way, or you allow yourself to complain, even internally, about what it is you're doing, remember God chose you to do that work for Him. Think about how personal that choice really is, about how He cares enough to select you to serve, regardless of what it may be.
Whatever the needs may be in the church, they are all important. When you fill a need, when you serve, recognize the opportunity is a worship experience, a chance to praise God for using you to meet the needs of His people. You are vitally important! Be happy about it!
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